Masturbation: The MASTER(s thesis) of self-love

Greetings friends. So I recently made a pretty solid decision that after I preach the wonders of sex-positive comprehensive sexual health education via my Masters of Arts in Education thesis, I would like to continue my changing the world at the hand of research and try for a Masters in Sexuality Studies at San Fran State University! I looked up the program, and it's like looking in a mirror.

Anyway, I was pondering what to focus on, and the only logical conclusion I could draw was to focus on autonomous sex and safe sexual practices. Aka, masturbation and its glory.
So is it just me, or is this not a perfect cover letter to send to SFSU? *see below for the majesty*

Dear SFSU,
I am a current graduate student at UBC Okanagan. Please allow me to come to your school and sit in the library happily researching the happiness of safe sex. Here is a snippet of my passion:

WHY is masturbation frowned upon? WHY! WHYYYYY!?!?!?!?! WHHYYYYY?!?!?!

Amidst my glorious research on the taboos and challenges within sexual health education, I have drafted a series of questions that I, as I am sure you also, ponder.

If masturbation is a safe sexual practice that poses no threat to the individual (threat in this case being unwanted pregnancy or an STI), then why is it something that schools are so afraid to teach?

If masturbation is a healthy way to explore one’s body, then why is it seen as shameful?

If men are wasting their seed, what are women doing that is ‘wrong’?

Shouldn’t everyone have the right to touch his/her own body?

What’s so ‘bad’ about masturbation?

What’s so bad about teaching, informing, and exploring issues surrounding autonomous safe sex (masturbation, cybersex, fantasy)?

In short, masturbation is fantastic. You want kids to avoid STIs and unwanted pregnancy? Encourage, embrace, educate about, and enjoy MASTURBATION!

Alternative means of sexpression: Enter CYBERSEX

Sexual expression over the internet... thoughts? It's fair game. Here are some realities about the wonderful concept that is cybersex.

Healthy alternatives are necessary in order to meet the needs of all individuals. Much like the meat and alternatives food group, which encompasses more than just ‘meat’, sexual health education should discuss more than just heterosexual intercourse. Advocating for healthy alternatives promotes inclusive classrooms that adapt to a wide variety of student needs. This article looks at alternative means of sexpression for youth by focusing on an easily accessible form of sexual expression: internet sex, or “cybersex”.

Using the internet as a means to sexpress: Cybersex and beyond

What is cybersex?
Cybersex is a sexual encounter that takes place entirely via the internet, often in a chat room or through instant messaging (Sexetc.org, 2010). Cybersex is a way to privately live out one’s fantasy without in-person social interaction. Using cybersex as a form of fantasy is an autoerotic behaviour over the internet in which only words and imagination are the stimulus. Cybersex is a safe way for teenagers to express themselves without the physical harm of sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancy.

Tell me about the internet and cybersex. Okay! The internet is a limitless space, like one’s mind; however, the internet is more harmful in that one can be exposed to all kinds of unhealthy sexual expression, like violent images, sexual violence against women, child pornography, and other dangerous sex websites (Creed, 2003). It is thus important to monitor and regulate internet use in young individuals who are using this medium of communication. As long as cybersex remains a type of sexual fantasy, it is a safe behaviour that relies on words and imagination for pleasure.

Are there limitations to cybersex?
Although cybersex is a healthy form of autoerotic sexual expression, one cannot ignore the significance of physical contact and body language in intimacy. Shouldn’t we teach youth that physical intimacy is pleasurable? The Canadian guidelines for Sexual Health education suggest that a healthy sexuality encompasses the teaching of behavioural skills and socialization that includes physical intimacy and healthy relationships (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2008). This definition suggests that physicality is important in healthy relationships and thus cybersex is not an intimate, personal, shared experience because it limits contact and distances people rather than brings them together. Healthy physical contact or physical intimacy such as kissing, caressing, cuddling, and other forms of tactile stimulation emphasize healthy sexual expression (Rathus, Nevid, Fichner-Rathus, & Herold, 2010). The guidelines also stress the importance of physical intimacy and healthy socialization in relationships, indicating that cybersex alone is not a satisfactory way to communicate intimately.

Who uses cybersex?
A hell of a lot of people; however, marginalized individuals, specifically, often find comfort in the internet medium: “for many individuals, the Internet constitutes an important avenue for healthy sexual pursuits….[The Internet] might prove very useful for homosexual adolescents, physically/mentally challenged, shy individuals” (Philaretou, 2005, p. 81). The unknown distance of the person one is talking to on the internet provides a sense of security in shy individuals (Rathus et al., 2010).

So is cybersex good or bad?
The issue of comfort and feeling free to express oneself is a positive characteristic of using the internet for sexual purposes. ***Please note for your safety, always use caution and do not give out personal information over the internet. Also, you should be over 18... just my opinion, but it's true***

Dependency on the internet can be positive or negative, but there is no doubt that technology has become a primary filter for information, including sexual knowledge: “Internet sex is more than just the use of a modern medium for sexual ends; it is more a reflection of today’s fast-pace social life characterized by individuality, impersonality, materialism, and social isolation” (Philaretou, 2005, p.80). This critique of the use of internet for sexual means suggests that it inhibits socialization and necessary physical components of interaction. Physical interaction, which more often than not works in conjunction with emotional closeness, is a necessary skill for young people who are learning about sexual expression through many filters.

What are other alternatives?
Other ways that teenagers could gratify themselves sexually is through foreplay, visual stimulation, other autoerotic behaviours such as masturbation through fantasy, and reading erotic novels. These forms of sexual expression omit the ambiguity factor that comes to play in cybersex where one cannot be sure who he or she is communicating with. Despite limitless possibilities and vulnerabilities surrounding the internet, cybersex is a safe way for individuals to express themselves sexually without the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. As long as it does not become the only means of sexual expression, cybersex can positively impact one’s sexuality.

References

Creed, B. (2003). Media matrix: Sexing the new reality. Australia: Allen and Unwin.
Philaretou, A. (2005). Sexuality and the Internet. Journal of Sex Research, 42(2), 180-181. Retrieved from PsycINFO database.
Public Health Agency of Canada. (2008). Canadian guidelines for sexual health education. Ottawa, Ontario: Public Health Agency of Canada.
Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, L., & Herold, E. S. (2010). Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (3rd ed.). Toronto: Pearson Education Canada.
Sexetc.org. Sex, etc. “What is cyber sex or phone sex? How do you do it? Is it safe?” Rutgers University. 2010. http://www.sexetc.org/faq/sex/899. Retrieved 3 Feb 2010.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Cyber it up! It’s you and the keyboard.

Who's thinking of the children? I know I am!!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Buckle your seat belts and hold the phone because this is so exciting even YOU might raise an eyebrow. Yours truly has just received her very own copy of Our Schools Our Selves the Spring 2011 edition. Cool.

Yes, it's cool. What's COOLER is that on page 71, my article on student-centred sexual health education is shining beneath a picture of me looking QUITE academic!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know. Seriously.
So I'll give you a brief synopsis of what I argue and then leave you in SUSPENSE!!!

First of all, this is an incredibly awesome and progressive journal about policy change in Canada. Beautiful read. I read the sex education edition and kind of fell in love. Twice.

So my article is called "Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children? Promoting student-centred sexual health education". *sigh* Take a moment to love that... there.

Here's a picture of it:

Isn't that gorgeous? Oh yes. I can't even handle it.
There's another picture above. Oh it's so awesome.

So I'm essentially advocating FOR comprehensive sexual health education BECAUSE it is student-centred and focuses on the learners (the students) instead of other biases. The students need to know information relevant to them, so I argue that let's LISTEN to them and feed off of their questions in order to sculpt a better curriculum. I suggest a couple of ways to do so by pointing to some research that has worked well; for example, anonymous question boxes. Do this.

Anyway, I'm excited. I will talk about this article (and reference myself like a cocky narcissus) later. I will also post about my trip to England where I again advocated for STUDENT-CENTRED LEARNING through collaboration! Yaaaaaaay.

Stay safe, sexually speaking.
Yours,
the published sarah

One lay, two day, three way, foreplay

Dr. Seuss said it best when he rhymed Sam and ham and all that jazz. It just makes sense, doesn't it? Rhyming is fun, hence the title of this article; however, I did not make this article rhyme. That is a goal for another day.

One of my dear friends asked me to publish something about foreplay, so I did. I aim to please. Here is the article as it was published in UBC Okanagan's school newspaper, The Phoenix. Enjoy!
More to come! Forgive me, I've been in Europe both adventuring and boasting about my research. A blog will highlight the sexual health fun soon time! :)

--Sarah

http://www.thephoenixnews.com/articles/45718

ECP - for emergencies only DAMN IT!!!

This article is dedicated to those of you who are smart in your sexual options. It is not dedicated to those of you who are haphazard and lazy whenst sexing. Be smart. Be aware. Be safe.
Here is the original ECP article I wrote for the newspaper last week. Bask in its educated tone. Join me and embrace the condom.

Emergency Contraception: For emergencies ONLY, damn it!

By: Sarah AASECT.org Bryant

Picture this: You get home from class. You are starving. Dinner has been on your mind for the past hour. You are jonesing for a turkey and swiss sandwich. No turkey? No swiss?! Plan B: trusty (always there for you) peanut butter.
In this situation, plan B is a good option. In a sexual situation, plan B is just an option... but not the best one.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are a plethora of ways to protect oneself from unwanted pregnancy (if you want a list, go to www.sexualityandu.ca for an assortment of trusty methods), but I must beg of you to utilize the methods that are intended for prolonged use when one is sexually active. What does this mean? NOT using emergency contraceptives JUST in case whenever you have sex!

I kid you not, I have overheard more than one conversation where a girl has casually exclaimed to a friend that she would just “grab a plan B” when she had the chance. What?!?! Or another that said “plan B is great because you don’t have to think about anything before sex”. Uh, WHAT?! You should always think about things before sex!

There is a beautiful pill out there called emergency contraception (EC), also known as the most common EC brand name, “Plan B” or the morning after pill. Hell, I’ve even heard of it being called the “oops” pill. Accurate. There is a reason the word ‘emergency’ is in front of ‘contraceptive’ in this case: it’s for emergencies only! Even the website, planb.ca states that “it [Plan B] is not your regular contraceptive. If you're even rarely or occasionally sexually active, find out about all available contraceptives and discuss them with your doctor.”

Plan B is a catchy name for an emergency contraceptive, but here’s the way I see it in terms of “plans of action”:

Plan A: Two types of effective and reliable birth control, condom + pill, for example
Plan B: just one type (just condom, just pill, just spermicide, etc.)
Plan C: No birth control? Abstain! Genital-hand contact/something that is not intercourse.
Plan D: EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION (Plan B pill) *(listen to 0:18-0:22 of video for the truth...)
Plan E: If you get to this point, I will smack you. Think before you act.

The EC pill is like a “don’t let it happen again”, not a “this is a reliable method of birth control”. Yea. So is prayer.

“Plan B” (morning after pill): The last option. The morning AFTER implies that you should “think ahead”! Not just a useful saying for exams, my friends!

If you are someone who consistently relies on EC, here are some handy tips to not be that person:

1. Educate yourself about the birth control pill/patch/ring - all reliable and highly effective forms of contraception.
2. Use a condom, for the love of Nancy!
3. Always use a condom? It always breaks? You might want to change brands, my friend.
4. Abstain.
5. Build bird feeders with your loves ones. (This option can be done in conjunction with #4).

There is no shame in using an emergency contraceptive. I applaud you for controlling the population, a.k.a. being calm and smart during a potentially risky situation. EC is there for a reason, and thank goodness for this abundance of safe sex options*. What I am saying, and will continue to advocate, is that EC should not be your preferred method of birth control. It can be the method one turns to when you are out of options and need a “Plan B”. Use your head.

Use plan A and stay safe, sexually speaking.

*Please be advised that the birth control pill and Plan B (see www.planb.ca for more details) do not protect against STIs. Always use a condom for maximum protection when being sexually active.

Write me happiness

Ladies and gentlemen,

I interrupt this stream of research to share with you some of my own glory that I am basking in.

This post will address some of my upcoming sexual health successes and some contemplations for the future.

Awesomeness #1: I am embarking on a Europe journey at the end of this month which will end in Durham, England at the Knowledge Exchange in Public Health (FUSE) conference. I will snap as many pictures and absorb as much information as humanly possible. I may even post my academic poster to the blog.

Awesomeness #2: I will very shortly be published in an academic journal!!!!! My article is on student-centred learning in sexual health education. This journal will be published in April, 2011. I will link to the journal website once I am a part of its brilliance! :):) CAN'T WAIT!

Awesomeness #3: I may or may not have googled sexual health PhD programs. Food for thought... Do I want a PhD or another M.A. in human sexuality, family relations and child/adolescent development, counseling. I'm leaning towards the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, but I have a soft spot for Ontario (my homeslice of a province), and so University of Guelph is also on my mind. YAY FOR THE FUTURE!!!

One step at a time. Step one: write a blog. :) Thanks for making it happen.
Stay safe, sexually speaking

-- the Sarah sexology Bryantology

Comic strips based on "The Purity Myth"

After reading arguably one of the best down to Earth, realistic, and 'oh you are SO right' books about purity and virginity, The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti, I couldn't help but vividly picture some of the abstinence-only exercises.

Here are a couple of quotes to amuse and shock you.

"...consider another abstinence product: a gold rose pin handed out in schools and at Christian youth events. The pin is attached to a small card that reads, 'You are like a beautiful rose. Each time you engage in pre-marital sex, a precious petal is stripped away. Don't leave your future husband holding a bare stem. Abstain.'" (Valenti, 2010, p. 32).

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enough said. This is a terrifying image to a young girl who is now PETRIFIED of sex. Well done radical extremists. Ostriches.

At the top of Chapter 2: Tainted Love, Valenti (2010) quotes Darren Washington, an abstinence educator at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference:
"Your body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he's done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker." (p. 41).

There are 327186757489391432 things wrong with the above statement.
1. !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I will never eat lollipops again. Ew. Phallic much?
3. "...when he's done with you"? Wow. This isn't misogynistic at ALL. Men seem like creatures in this case and women seem like incapable tools.
4. Again... I used to like lollipops. Thanks for ruining my once innocent and playful image of a lollipop. Ass.

I could go on, but instead I decided to draw comics that illustrate the purity myth. The first comic is based on the first quote about the flower. The second comic is just the overemphasis on the virgin/whore dichotomy. Enjoy.


NOTE: Please click on the picture for a bigger image. Hopefully, it is readable. :)