Healthy alternatives are necessary in order to meet the needs of all individuals. Much like the meat and alternatives food group, which encompasses more than just ‘meat’, sexual health education should discuss more than just heterosexual intercourse. Advocating for healthy alternatives promotes inclusive classrooms that adapt to a wide variety of student needs. This article looks at alternative means of sexpression for youth by focusing on an easily accessible form of sexual expression: internet sex, or “cybersex”.
Using the internet as a means to sexpress: Cybersex and beyond
What is cybersex?
Cybersex is a sexual encounter that takes place entirely via the internet, often in a chat room or through instant messaging (Sexetc.org, 2010). Cybersex is a way to privately live out one’s fantasy without in-person social interaction. Using cybersex as a form of fantasy is an autoerotic behaviour over the internet in which only words and imagination are the stimulus. Cybersex is a safe way for teenagers to express themselves without the physical harm of sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancy.
Tell me about the internet and cybersex. Okay! The internet is a limitless space, like one’s mind; however, the internet is more harmful in that one can be exposed to all kinds of unhealthy sexual expression, like violent images, sexual violence against women, child pornography, and other dangerous sex websites (Creed, 2003). It is thus important to monitor and regulate internet use in young individuals who are using this medium of communication. As long as cybersex remains a type of sexual fantasy, it is a safe behaviour that relies on words and imagination for pleasure.
Are there limitations to cybersex?
Although cybersex is a healthy form of autoerotic sexual expression, one cannot ignore the significance of physical contact and body language in intimacy. Shouldn’t we teach youth that physical intimacy is pleasurable? The Canadian guidelines for Sexual Health education suggest that a healthy sexuality encompasses the teaching of behavioural skills and socialization that includes physical intimacy and healthy relationships (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2008). This definition suggests that physicality is important in healthy relationships and thus cybersex is not an intimate, personal, shared experience because it limits contact and distances people rather than brings them together. Healthy physical contact or physical intimacy such as kissing, caressing, cuddling, and other forms of tactile stimulation emphasize healthy sexual expression (Rathus, Nevid, Fichner-Rathus, & Herold, 2010). The guidelines also stress the importance of physical intimacy and healthy socialization in relationships, indicating that cybersex alone is not a satisfactory way to communicate intimately.
Who uses cybersex?
A hell of a lot of people; however, marginalized individuals, specifically, often find comfort in the internet medium: “for many individuals, the Internet constitutes an important avenue for healthy sexual pursuits….[The Internet] might prove very useful for homosexual adolescents, physically/mentally challenged, shy individuals” (Philaretou, 2005, p. 81). The unknown distance of the person one is talking to on the internet provides a sense of security in shy individuals (Rathus et al., 2010).
So is cybersex good or bad?
The issue of comfort and feeling free to express oneself is a positive characteristic of using the internet for sexual purposes. ***Please note for your safety, always use caution and do not give out personal information over the internet. Also, you should be over 18... just my opinion, but it's true***
Dependency on the internet can be positive or negative, but there is no doubt that technology has become a primary filter for information, including sexual knowledge: “Internet sex is more than just the use of a modern medium for sexual ends; it is more a reflection of today’s fast-pace social life characterized by individuality, impersonality, materialism, and social isolation” (Philaretou, 2005, p.80). This critique of the use of internet for sexual means suggests that it inhibits socialization and necessary physical components of interaction. Physical interaction, which more often than not works in conjunction with emotional closeness, is a necessary skill for young people who are learning about sexual expression through many filters.
What are other alternatives?
Other ways that teenagers could gratify themselves sexually is through foreplay, visual stimulation, other autoerotic behaviours such as masturbation through fantasy, and reading erotic novels. These forms of sexual expression omit the ambiguity factor that comes to play in cybersex where one cannot be sure who he or she is communicating with. Despite limitless possibilities and vulnerabilities surrounding the internet, cybersex is a safe way for individuals to express themselves sexually without the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. As long as it does not become the only means of sexual expression, cybersex can positively impact one’s sexuality.
References
Philaretou, A. (2005). Sexuality and the Internet. Journal of Sex Research, 42(2), 180-181. Retrieved from PsycINFO database.
Public Health Agency of Canada. (2008). Canadian guidelines for sexual health education. Ottawa, Ontario: Public Health Agency of Canada.
Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, L., & Herold, E. S. (2010). Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (3rd ed.). Toronto: Pearson Education Canada.
Sexetc.org. Sex, etc. “What is cyber sex or phone sex? How do you do it? Is it safe?” Rutgers University. 2010. http://www.sexetc.org/faq/sex/899. Retrieved 3 Feb 2010.
There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Cyber it up! It’s you and the keyboard.
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