Try this on for size! Here is a vlog of me reading out an outrageous abstinence-only education classroom exercise. Oh my..... goodness. Beautiful.
PS. I don't know how to make the 'thumbnail' for this video attractive.
More on "The Purity Myth" to come! I will NEVER be done talking about it :)
Educationsexpectations is now a website!!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Virgin WHAT?! Define purity... and then we'll talk
Purity... I think of doves and girls in flowing dresses frolicking in a meadow...
So I'm currently reading one of the greatest books of all time: The Purity Myth: How America's obsession with virginity is hurting young women by Jessica Valenti. Not only is the book written extremely well, and the research is just flawlessly chosen, etc... but the ideas and the inquisitive nature of almost every paragraph... marry me.
I am only 100 pages in so far, and I have like, 438907589478092 post its and highlights. I want to make references to a couple of things and throw my opinion at them (despite how similar my opinion is to Valenti's... she's a genius, so it's all good).
So essentially the main issue revolves around
- what is purity?
- what is a virgin?
- what's the deal with the virgin/whore dichotomy
- sexualization of youth and how this relates to the obsession with virginity
- if you have sex, you are forever tainted and may as well go live in a cave
- if you are a virgin, here... have a pony <3
oh shi--
Like me, Valenti (2010) argues that abstinence teaching is not a bad thing; however, the absence of any other teaching about sexual health is just wrong. There is a huge bias there about beliefs, and really, who are YOU to say what students believe and what they should believe?!?! Yes, YOU! .____.
Like my thesis majestically says (although in a very rough copy at the moment), sex education should focus more on the individual, relationships, experiences, and healthy living rather than the ACT of intercourse and its negative outcomes. Seriously... negativity doesn't sit well with anyone, and although students NEED to be aware of STIs and unwanted babies, they also need to know that kissing and holding hands and the nice feeling of having your body caressed is nice when it is done in a HEALTHY way.
So why is this virginity issue such an issue??
WELL,
Whether you are a virgin or a whore* (it seems to me like you are either or in the eyes of a virginity-movement advocate), neither is really a good thing.
If you are a virgin, you are a limited sheltered "girl"** who is waiting for her husband to take her flower, etc. Boring.
If you are a whore, you have sex with everything that moves and are dirty and tainted and worthless and hopeless and ANYONE who is not a heterosexual girl purely waiting for her husband to come retrieve the tulips.
*Whore??? But she's wearing the colour of purity!!! And doing yoga!!!
Virgin? There IS a cloud in the background. And she looks like she's never had sex (<--- what the hell does THIS look like??!?!?!?!) ** I hate this. I wish SO badly to hear about boys. What about boys? I mean, I understand the pressures are very much in the camps of us females, but what about those poor boys in high school who are being teased by their friends to 'tap that chick', etc.? What if a boy DOESN'T want to have sex? Or what if he does it and then regrets it? I don't think one can argue that one gender is harder to be when growing up. In both respects, there's a hardcore amount of pressure and obsession surrounding sexuality. But, why?
For some reason, sexuality is a big deal. *shrugs* Go worry about your mathematics grade and stop bugging others about how 'far' they've gone.
Anyway, back to the book (I could write all day) <3<3<3 Here's something to try on for size: A symbol of abstinence: a gold rose pin handed out in schools and at Christian* youth events. The pin is attached to a small card that reads, 'You are like a beautiful rose. Each time you engage in pre-marital sex, a precious petal is stripped away. Don't leave your future husband holding a bare stem. Abstain.'" (Valenti, 2010, p. 32).
(Hilarious comic strip illustrating the reality of the above quote to come...)
WHAT?!
Sweet merciful mother!!!! That is just.... OMGGGGGGGG! Holy pressure cooker Batman!
*This scares me. If you are a Christian youth, you MUST be this way. It is your stigma. If you are not, you CANNOT be this way. There's that dichotomy again. I can only imagine a girl wearing a gold pin and falling in love (properly... the definition is up for debate... interpret as you will), and wanting to say... kiss her beloved. Then, wanting to maybe you know... MORE. YOU CAN'T! YOU AREN'T MARRIED!!! But, but... she can't afford a wedding yet... and-- and-- she's only 17. NO! NO!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! *explodes*
Terrifying. And yet, true. America IS obsessed with virginity. I think Canadians are a tad preoccupied with it... but not quite obsessed? I'd like to see a Canadian rendition of this novel... probably wouldn't be tooooooo different, methinks.
Anyway, I have nothing against beautiful gold pins. Hell, I'll wear one. But don't go throwing virginity into a symbol and pressuring someone to make a decision like that at such a young age. When you're 10, all you want to do is play in the dirt and sing stupid pop songs. It's a sweet life! Let's teach our students to self-reflect, assess personal values, and communicate effectively in order to make these apparently "INTENSELY LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS!!!!"
Newsflash: Having sex is like making a sandwich. It happens all the time. And it's really not that big of a deal. It's a deal... but not that big of one. Let the students decide how big of a deal their sexualities are before we put a giant OMG stamp on all things sexual. Seriously.
ALSO, one last thought (haha, totally kidding... I have oodles to say, but another blog TBA...)
It's parents and adults who are so obsessed with this virginity thing. Students are only obsessed with it because adults have so much control over policy, especially extremist adults like people associated with the virginity-movements. Mad props to passionate individuals, but let's back off a little and let diverse individuals lead diverse, beautiful, unique, and healthy lives instead of drawing out the sexual to-do list of every student ever.
To do:
1. Abstain
2. Brush teeth
^ HAH! Me.
Purity. Doves. Enough said.
Stay safe. Sexually speaking... this includes BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO abstinence.
PS. Anyone who tells you to abstain from masturbating needs a kick in the jaw. As if you can tell me I can't touch my own body.
PSS. Where the lesbians at??!?!?! Apparently, they don't exist in the virginity-movement. Don't GET me started.
So I'm currently reading one of the greatest books of all time: The Purity Myth: How America's obsession with virginity is hurting young women by Jessica Valenti. Not only is the book written extremely well, and the research is just flawlessly chosen, etc... but the ideas and the inquisitive nature of almost every paragraph... marry me.I am only 100 pages in so far, and I have like, 438907589478092 post its and highlights. I want to make references to a couple of things and throw my opinion at them (despite how similar my opinion is to Valenti's... she's a genius, so it's all good).
So essentially the main issue revolves around
- what is purity?
- what is a virgin?
- what's the deal with the virgin/whore dichotomy
- sexualization of youth and how this relates to the obsession with virginity
- if you have sex, you are forever tainted and may as well go live in a cave
- if you are a virgin, here... have a pony <3
oh shi--
Like me, Valenti (2010) argues that abstinence teaching is not a bad thing; however, the absence of any other teaching about sexual health is just wrong. There is a huge bias there about beliefs, and really, who are YOU to say what students believe and what they should believe?!?! Yes, YOU! .____.
Like my thesis majestically says (although in a very rough copy at the moment), sex education should focus more on the individual, relationships, experiences, and healthy living rather than the ACT of intercourse and its negative outcomes. Seriously... negativity doesn't sit well with anyone, and although students NEED to be aware of STIs and unwanted babies, they also need to know that kissing and holding hands and the nice feeling of having your body caressed is nice when it is done in a HEALTHY way.
So why is this virginity issue such an issue??
WELL,
Whether you are a virgin or a whore* (it seems to me like you are either or in the eyes of a virginity-movement advocate), neither is really a good thing.
If you are a virgin, you are a limited sheltered "girl"** who is waiting for her husband to take her flower, etc. Boring.
If you are a whore, you have sex with everything that moves and are dirty and tainted and worthless and hopeless and ANYONE who is not a heterosexual girl purely waiting for her husband to come retrieve the tulips.
*Whore??? But she's wearing the colour of purity!!! And doing yoga!!!
Virgin? There IS a cloud in the background. And she looks like she's never had sex (<--- what the hell does THIS look like??!?!?!?!) ** I hate this. I wish SO badly to hear about boys. What about boys? I mean, I understand the pressures are very much in the camps of us females, but what about those poor boys in high school who are being teased by their friends to 'tap that chick', etc.? What if a boy DOESN'T want to have sex? Or what if he does it and then regrets it? I don't think one can argue that one gender is harder to be when growing up. In both respects, there's a hardcore amount of pressure and obsession surrounding sexuality. But, why?
For some reason, sexuality is a big deal. *shrugs* Go worry about your mathematics grade and stop bugging others about how 'far' they've gone.
Anyway, back to the book (I could write all day) <3<3<3 Here's something to try on for size: A symbol of abstinence: a gold rose pin handed out in schools and at Christian* youth events. The pin is attached to a small card that reads, 'You are like a beautiful rose. Each time you engage in pre-marital sex, a precious petal is stripped away. Don't leave your future husband holding a bare stem. Abstain.'" (Valenti, 2010, p. 32).
(Hilarious comic strip illustrating the reality of the above quote to come...)
WHAT?!
Sweet merciful mother!!!! That is just.... OMGGGGGGGG! Holy pressure cooker Batman!
*This scares me. If you are a Christian youth, you MUST be this way. It is your stigma. If you are not, you CANNOT be this way. There's that dichotomy again. I can only imagine a girl wearing a gold pin and falling in love (properly... the definition is up for debate... interpret as you will), and wanting to say... kiss her beloved. Then, wanting to maybe you know... MORE. YOU CAN'T! YOU AREN'T MARRIED!!! But, but... she can't afford a wedding yet... and-- and-- she's only 17. NO! NO!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! *explodes*
Terrifying. And yet, true. America IS obsessed with virginity. I think Canadians are a tad preoccupied with it... but not quite obsessed? I'd like to see a Canadian rendition of this novel... probably wouldn't be tooooooo different, methinks.
Anyway, I have nothing against beautiful gold pins. Hell, I'll wear one. But don't go throwing virginity into a symbol and pressuring someone to make a decision like that at such a young age. When you're 10, all you want to do is play in the dirt and sing stupid pop songs. It's a sweet life! Let's teach our students to self-reflect, assess personal values, and communicate effectively in order to make these apparently "INTENSELY LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS!!!!"
Newsflash: Having sex is like making a sandwich. It happens all the time. And it's really not that big of a deal. It's a deal... but not that big of one. Let the students decide how big of a deal their sexualities are before we put a giant OMG stamp on all things sexual. Seriously.
ALSO, one last thought (haha, totally kidding... I have oodles to say, but another blog TBA...)
It's parents and adults who are so obsessed with this virginity thing. Students are only obsessed with it because adults have so much control over policy, especially extremist adults like people associated with the virginity-movements. Mad props to passionate individuals, but let's back off a little and let diverse individuals lead diverse, beautiful, unique, and healthy lives instead of drawing out the sexual to-do list of every student ever.
To do:
1. Abstain
2. Brush teeth
^ HAH! Me.
Purity. Doves. Enough said.
Stay safe. Sexually speaking... this includes BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO abstinence.
PS. Anyone who tells you to abstain from masturbating needs a kick in the jaw. As if you can tell me I can't touch my own body.
PSS. Where the lesbians at??!?!?! Apparently, they don't exist in the virginity-movement. Don't GET me started.
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Use a condom Charlie Brown!
When? How? Ahhh! I'm scared of sex!
Step one?
Are you in love? Do you need to be? What are the parameters?
Bingo!
